When your partner clams up and refuses to communicate, you might find yourself so desperate to get them to open up, that you start trying to bribe them. You may find yourself saying things like, "If we can just talk this out, I'll make a delicious dinner later on," or, "Please talk to me, or I'll leave." Even though you may be tempted to take any means necessary to get your partner to start talking, it's probably not a good idea — after all, unless your partner really wants to talk, the conversation probably won't be very productive.
"You don't want their compliance in talking to you by trying to bribe them, you want their desire to open up to you," says Parsons. "Encourage that by starting with sharing how you feel and inviting them to do the same."
Miller agrees. Instead of bribing your partner, simply try asking them to open up. "Honesty and authenticity are the keys to open, real conversation with your partner," she says. "You should not need to entice or cajole your partner, instead you might suggest something to the effect of, 'I really need a few minutes to talk with you later. Can we agree to meet at X time? It would mean so much to me.'" If this doesn't work, it's probably time to take a step back and pick up the conversation again later.
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