Have you ever heard the saying, "You have to love yourself before anyone else can?" While you're lovable no matter what kind of relationship you have with yourself, there's still some truth to this common phrase, particularly when it comes to standards.
When you set high standards in dating, you demonstrate to others that you expect to be treated well. Meanwhile, lowering your standards communicates weak boundaries. The people you date may realize they can get away with behaviors that you originally wouldn't tolerate, such as lying or canceling dates last minute, because they've seen you accept less.
However, one reason why you might be tempted to lower your standards is that, deep down, you don't believe you deserve to be treated better. "The reason that [the dating] bar is low is because people's self-esteem is low and they will allow themselves to accept something less than a date because they don't think they're worth it," Greg Behrendt, a best-selling relationship author, told Oprah. In this case, working on self-worth — either with a therapist or independently — is the answer, not lowering your standards.
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